Motivation Sunday – Cutting Out The Bullshit

Adrian Qais 2

cut bullshit

Motivation Sunday – Cutting Out The Bullshit

xxx

We are swimming in a world full of bullshit. We’re not even swimming… we’re drowning in the stuff.

Everyday we are bombarded by advertising campaigns that are screaming at us that:

xxx

1. We aren’t attractive enough

2. We aren’t smart enough

3. We aren’t desirable enough

4. We aren’t  happy enough

xxx

There is so much consumerism bullshit out there, getting shoved down our throats it’s depressing…

xxx

1. “Buy X and your life will change forever”

2. “You can’t live without X product in your life”

3. “If you don’t change X now, you’re going to die depressed and alone”

xxx

But the worst bullshit of all… is the stuff we shove down our OWN throats.

xxx

We tell ourselves hundreds of lies everyday about what we desire, what we wish we had, what we wish we had said, what we wish for the future, what we wish we did for work, what we wish our sexual partner was like, what we think will make us happy etc…

 xxx

Enough is enough.

 xxx

It’s time to recognise all the external bullshit that the media, in some kind of medieval game sh*t tossing event,  is throwing at us. And more importantly it’s time to have a proper look at ourselves to recognise the little lies and to understand that they are, in actuality, what makes us miserable.

 xxx

It’s time for us to to clean out our own personal cupboards full of bullshit.

xxx

However, being self critical has its pitfalls.

We find it hard to critically looking at ourselves and our own personal ‘lies’ because of the very reason why we lie to ourselves in the first place.

 xxx

We lie to ourselves to make ourselves feel better.

 xxx

We usually lie to ourselves as a defense mechanism against accepting some painful truths about ourselves…

But I don’t believe that accepting these truths has to be painful. And I hope this article goes some way to helping you break free of the mental torture and anguish that lying to yourself perpetuates.

By lying to ourselves and believing we can do things and be things, that we actually don’t really want to do or be, we stop ourselves from growing and developing at things we can do, are good at, and actually WANT TO DO!

That’s why it’s so important to recognise these micro-lies so you can continue to grow and move forward in a positive direction.

xxx

When it comes to uncovering our own bullshit (BS), many of us tell ourselves the same lies, in slightly different forms.

So here are some personal examples of BS lies I used to tell myself in the hope it helps you discover your own BS lies and enables you to put them behind you and move on in a positive direction…  so you can become the person or the thing you ACTUALLY want to be!

xxx

“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” ― George Bernard Shaw

 xxx

Personal Lie 1: “I’ve always wanted to be X”

cut bullshit

I’ve said this a lot in my life, in the mindset that “If I became X, I’d make loads of money, enjoy my life and be happy”.

This, for me, is my Number 1 personal BS or lie I used to keep on telling myself again and again. For me it was, “I wish I was a financial broker, so I could make loads of money and be happy”.

To cut a long back-story short –  I did a short stint in a broking firm a few years back. And because I only observed rather than participated, it made the lie to myself that much greater.

So after my short work experience, it seemed like an absolutely brilliant career; High pressured (but only in the working day), you didn’t take any risk home, it was great banter at work, you could potentially make loads of money, and you often took clients out for boozy lunches and dinner… Amazing!

So in the past, whenever I was having a boring week at work, or worrying about my financial future, I would always be like, “God… I wish I had become a broker. I’ve always wanted to become one. Making money, having banter at work would make me infinitely happy.”

  xxx

Well… why didn’t I become one then?!

  xxx

You’ve got to think to yourself, if you’re perpetually saying, “Oh I wish I had become this…” or “I wish I had become that…” then why didn’t you? What was stopping you from go out there and getting it?

If you honestly want something bad enough, you’ll actually enjoy the pain and hardship needed to reach your goal. You’ll actually enjoy the process of ‘getting there if it’s something you honestly want to do.

  xxx

I, however, obviously never wanted to be a broker THAT BADLY and hence never truly went for it.

So if you are like the old me who always was just wishing to be something else… but never actually doing anything about it. It’s time to recognise that, (if you’re truly honest with yourself,) you’re simply not willing to go through the pain of getting it. Which basically means YOU DON’T REALLY WANT IT AT ALL!

  xxx

Personal Lie 2: “And soon as I get X, then I can do Y and finally be happy”

cut bullshit

This takes many forms like:

“As soon as I get married, my life will be changed and I’ll finally be happy”

 Or…

“As soon as I get a raise, I’ll be able to go out more and finally be happy”

 Or…

“As soon as I get a girlfriend, I’ll find love, and finally be happy”.

   xxx

Whatever X and Y are… you need to understand that no one single thing or goal will change your life so completely and totally that it will make you permanently happy.

    xxx

Happiness doesn’t come in small boxes like the media would have us all believe. The problem… and the reason that the media focuses on this particular psychological element in all its advertising campaigns… is that the ‘If I had X, then Y’ part of our brains has been there since we were apes and isn’t going anywhere in a hurry!

Without being a little bit dissatisfied with things and life (i.e. I want X because I think it will give me Y) we’d stand totally still in our lives. We’d have no drive to improve ourselves, our lives or our family’s lives. This small dissatisfaction element in our brain is a great strategy to improving oneself but it is a terrible strategy for ‘getting happier’.

     xxx

If we’re always in the mindset of looking for and thinking that only the next thing will make us happy… we are only living in the future and totally forgetting to live in the present.

There have been studies that prove that the happiest people in the world are those who actually live in the present. People who live in the past or future are infinitely less happy than those who enjoy and are grateful for the here and now.

     xxx

So on the one hand it’s important to always strive for more in order to make our lives have more meaning and to improve the life of you and your family… but we all need to be careful we aren’t doing it in order to become happier.

Because we’re pre-programmed to think like this, it’s borderline impossible to change… but we just need to try and constantly remember that things won’t make us happy. Instead of making the goal the thing that makes us happy or the point at which we believe we will become happy –  try instead to make the journey to that goal the enjoyable part whilst constantly living in the moment.

Learning to enjoy the road, the challenge, the chase rather than the destination is what I believe to be the path to  true joy… A great quote I recently read goes something like this:

     xxx

“If life is a hamster wheel, then the goal isn’t to actually get anywhere, it’s to find a way to enjoy running.”

     xxx

Personal Lie 3: “I couldn’t possibly live without X in my life”

cut bullshit

Well now… this ‘X’ could be anything. Your iPhone, your car, your house even your girlfriend.

And in most of these cases… of course you can live without X in your life! If you did it once… surely you can do it again!

After spending a big proportion of my life travelling I’ve come to realise, how little ‘stuff’ we actually need to survive. Most of my travels now are done with a small 30-litre backpack because I honestly don’t need to take that much stuff with me!

When we don’t have our precious ‘things‘ we adapt. Adaption is why the human race took over the planet and nothing has changed since the time we were crawling on all fours.

It may initially be a massive shock to have to downgrade from a 3 story house to a one bedroom flat – but you’ll be fine… you’ll survive.

      xxx

If change is the spice of life, adaptation is life itself.

      xxx

The first time people usually realise they don’t need so much stuff in their lives is when they go travelling for the first time. And in order to do so, sell all their possessions. After the brief twang of grief and nostalgia they quickly realise how little they actually miss their stuff. If anything they feel liberated!

The really problem lies with the media and all the BS they shove down our throats. Consumerism is terrible…. how often are we force-fed the line by companies that, “If you buy X, it will make you happy”!

But seriously – if X could make you truly happy… wouldn’t everyone have one?!? And therefore it’s logical to conclude that such an item doesn’t exist!

 

Even though we can live without a lot of stuff… what we can’t live without is friends and family. That’s why, for me, they are the MOST and ONLY important things in the world.

 xxx

Personal Lie 4: “If I had more time I would do X….”

cut bullshit xxx

This is the worst personal lie out there.

To say you don’t have time is total BS. Especially if you’re saying that whilst sitting in front of the TV with a big bag of popcorn in your hands!

 xxx

You either want to do something or you don’t. It’s as simple as that.

 xxx

It’s like Personal Lie 1. More often than not, we like to ‘believe‘ that we want to do something more than actually doing it. When it comes down to it, we either can’t be bothered or actually don’t want to do it in the first place.

We ALL have the same number of minutes in the day and if there are people out there who whilst looking after their kids, holding down 4 jobs, continue to pursue their goals, dreams and hobbies… then why can’t everyone else?

  xxx

If you need time, you can create time. And if that means sleeping less… well then, learn to deal with 6 hours of sleep rather than the mythical 8 hours we’re all brought up to believe we need. It’s like Arnold Schwarzenegger said:

   xxx

“Work your butt off! Someone out there at the same time is working hard, someone is getting smarter, remember that! I’ve always figured out that there is 24 hours a day, you sleep 6 hours. That means you have 18 hours left. I know that some of you out there answers: ‘wait a minute I sleep 8 or 9 hours’. Well, than sleep faster I recommend.”

   xxx

To be fair, this point is similar to Personal Lie 1. Before I came to Japan I always said I wanted to do Brazilian Ju-jitsu. But after trying it out for 6 months I stopped.

But when I stopped I didn’t lie to myself that I didn’t have the time… which would have been far easier to do… I stopped because I simply didn’t want to do it as much as I thought I did.

There are so many people out there who say – I wish I had six-pack abs, I wish I knew how to surf, I wish I could play the guitar… but I simply don’t have the time – I’m just too busy!

    xxx

That’s total crap.

    xxx

If you actually wanted to do it, you’d make the time no matter what! If you’re one of those people who constantly make excuses by saying you don’t have the time, you need to stop lying to yourself and realise, you actually don’t want to really do it.

Which is ABSOLUTELY FINE!!! You’d don’t have to be or do everything!

The problem, that more often than not people like the idea more than the actual effort that’s needed to go out there and do something.

All those people out there who are working 100 hours weeks, are making a choice about how they invest their time. It’s obviously something they want to do more than all of the other things they say they want to do.

When people say, “they’re just too busy” what they actually mean is, they’re choosing to spend their time doing something else rather than the thing they’re only talking about.

    xxx

At the end of the day, consciously or not, we invest time in things that matter to us.

     xxx

The secret is learning how to recognise it and accept it.

x

x

x

x

Be Sociable, Share!

2 Comments »

  1. Igor June 24, 2014 at 12:26 am - Reply

    Googling Santorini I have found your blog. You are so damn right in everything you wrote. Maybe that is the reason why people have not leave any comments, admitting to yourself is the hardest one. Usually, a lot of other things get in the way of our dreams. I must admit that you are fully aware of the true meaning of our lives. Congrats on that, it is not that easy at all! My motto is: Be who you are in order to be happy! We all have to try a little or much more harder in everything we do. Wish you all the best in present and in future!

    • Adrian Qais June 24, 2014 at 10:45 am - Reply

      Hey Igor – That was a lovely message. Thank you so much. I’m very glad you found my site and even gladder you agree with my article. What are you up to at the moment… are you travelling?

Leave A Response »

This blog is kept spam free by WP-SpamFree.